So here we are. Its January 12,2014. I welcome the new year.
Yesterday I went to court and found out that the restraining order that my parents had against me ( that also stopped me from having ANY contact with my daughter) has been dropped.
My first thought was : relief.
My second thought was: How does this work. How do we repair our family relationships?
How do I try to fix things with my daughter?
I cried most of Friday night. Not only was it a weight off my shoulders but the fact that legally we could speak to each other and yet I think both parties have no idea how to start over.
Its been a year. There is so much hurt that I have. And yet I miss my Mom and Dad and most of all my daughter.
But I feel like I am up against a machine that I cannot beat. Not once did the siblings that did not have a restraining order against EVER in one year ask how I was.
I can't help thinking that if they wanted me to be sober and be able to regain custody of my daughter, why would they not ask me how I was doing. Or ask what they could do to help.
I read my sisters blog today and said that her new word for 2014 was embrace.
I am going to try and do the same thing. I am going to embrace that I have overcome addiction.
I am going to embrace that I have friends that have become my family in absent of .
I am going to embrace that whatever will be , will be.
I am going to embrace the hope that I have my daughter back in my life.
I am going to embrace that against all odds, I did the best I could as a single parent.
I am going to embrace that even though there is anger on both sides, that I love my parents and my daughter.
I am going to embrace 2014.
A, I am sorry that I took your word but you are so right in your blog.
Happy 2014.